Cohabitation vs. Marriage

The topic of whether couples should live together before they get married or if couples should just live together instead of getting married is controversial. This is a huge controversy in today’s society because there are so many different views on cohabitation and marriage. Cohabitation is said to be beneficial as a test run for marriage, since the couples live together before they get married it is said that it is easier to make the marriage transition.

I found two recent studies on cohabitation versus marriage and the relationship between dissolution of relationships for both types of couples. One study explored dyadic adjustment of the individuals that ended either a cohabiting relationship or divorce (Bouchard, 2006). The second study researched wealth accumulation in cohabitating and married couples and how this factor impacted ending the relationships (Vespa & Painter, 2011).

Both cohabitation and marriage are giant steps in any relationship because the individuals are going from just dating to living together and spending almost all of their free time together. Cohabitation may be easier to agree with at first depending on the type of relationship the couple has experienced. It is easier to move out of a house and to move away from a relationship if the individuals are not legally bound, i.e. not married. This is one of the most appealing factors of choosing to live together instead of getting married. Since there is seemingly no legal commitment to the relationship, either individual can walk away without as much difficulty as a divorcee. Marriage on the other hand is a little harder to dissolve. There are the high costs associated with divorce – emotional and financial – that a couple faces when deciding to dissolve the marriage. Also within a marriage if children are involved, this extra factor makes it much harder to dissolve the marriage, because couples have to consider how a broken home might affect their children. This would obviously be just as hard if a cohabitating couple was to have a child and then one day decided that they did not want to be together anymore. But from my understanding those who cohabitate usually do not have children and usually are not thinking about having children. This is always not the case though.

By utilizing the dyadic adjustment scale, Bouchard (2006) explored how individual adjusted to ending either a cohabitating or married relationship. According to Bouchard (2006), women in a cohabitating relationship reported ending the relationship even though they also reported that they were satisfied in the union. Unfortunately, the results of the study could not account for why this was the case. Interestingly, men in cohabitating relationships who possessed a higher level of education experienced less discord when the relationship ended. Some couples who participated in this study, whether married or cohabitating, had children; however, no mention was made as to whether this impacted their ability to adjust to the relationship ending.

Vespa and Painter (2011) performed a study focusing on wealth accumulation of married couples based on whether they cohabitated prior to marriage. One interesting finding of the study included the fact that, “individuals who married their only cohabiting partner experience a rate of wealth accumulation that is twice as large as the rate of married individuals who never cohabited” (Vespa & Painter, 2011, p. 998). Findings also indicated that “longer individuals spend in cohabitations that do not result in marriage, the lower their wealth at the start of marriage” (Vespa & Painter, 2011, p. 998). It would seem that cohabitating and then, subsequently, marriage for that couple led to financial stability.

Overall, the decision to cohabitate or marry is a personal and important decision for any couple to make in their relationship. The benefits and risks need to be considered to include the emotional and financial. Cohabitating is not for all couples and neither is marriage.

Works cited:

Bouchard, G. (2006). Cohabitation versus Marriage. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 46(1-2), 107-117. doi: 10.1300/J087v46n01_06

Vespa, J., & Painter, M. A. (2011). Cohabitation History, Marriage, and Wealth Accumulation. Demography, 48(3), 983-1004. doi: 10.1007/s13524-011-0043-2