Love

What is love? Is it an emotion, an action, a belief? People view love in many ways. Love, consequently, has many definitions. It comprises a multitude of feelings, actions, and ideals which can vary in expression depending on the culture in which one is raised and lives.

 In our reading, we learned about passionate love and companionate love. Passionate love is usually characterized by strong, intense feelings in which desire and impulse override all rational thought. Companionate love, on the other hand, can be thought of as an intimate, emotional connection and commitment to the one that you love. Robert Steinberg’s Triangular Theory of Love states that consummate love comprises passion, intimacy, and commitment. This is the ultimate type of love those in long term relationships desire.

 “I love you.” This verbal declaration of love is of high value in American culture. It is noted that in American culture, women verbally express love more often than men. In the Latino culture, considered highly expressive in nature, the verbal declaration “I love you”, is freely used without constraints.   However, in some cultures, it is not. It is used sparingly and in extreme circumstances. The reason being that the more often the expression is used, the less meaningful it will become. In the Korean culture, the verbal declaration of “I love you”, is not important, rather it is reserved for those who are young and passionately in love. In some cultures this verbal declaration is seen as a sign of weakness and inability to control oneself.

In individualistic cultures there is a high importance placed on personal goals and happiness. In contrast in collectivist cultures, individual identity is closely tied to that of the group. In individualistic cultures, passionate love is highly sought after and can be a precursor to marriage. In collectivist cultures, there is less emphasis on expressions of love and more emphasis on practicality, with love growing over a period of time. In Ge Gao’s study of the measure of intimacy, passion, and commitment in Chinese and American couples (2001), Americans showed higher levels of passion in their relationship. Levels of intimacy and commitment in Chinese and American couples, however, were not different. In collectivist cultures the practice of arranged marriage is common. Although passionate love is not a precursor to these arranged marriages, companionate love, a more enduring love, develops gradually and over a period of time, and is closely related to life satisfaction. It is expressed with an acceptance and commitment to one’s partner. Is it important to verbally declare love or are acts of love more meaningful?

When you make a verbal declaration of love, is it presumed to be a precursor to commitment in a romantic relationship in your culture? Is it the bridge between passionate love and companionate love?

Works Cited:

http://isites.harvard.edu/fs/docs/icb.topic1063342.files/Emotion%20Expression%20and%20the%20locution%20I%20love%20you.pdf

http://www.csulb.edu/~djorgens/kim.pdf

The Psychology of Human Sexuality Justin J. Lehmiller