I don’t know how you learned about sex, but I
don’t remember my teachers or parents talking about it in great detail. In High School I carried around a sack of flour
one year took care of an egg the next. In Middle School, I attended a Christian
School and there was no mention of it at all, and in Elementary school, I
vaguely remember the teachers splitting up the boys and girls and there was a
video of some sort, but I can’t tell you what it was about. At the age of 10, I
was away from home with a group of people from the church, and I woke up to
blood all over the bed I was sleeping in. I was frightened and believed I was
dying, only to discover that this was a normal experience that would occur
monthly. My mom said she was going to talk to me about it when I came back from
my trip, but it was too late. I would venture to say, that waiting to have
productive conversations with children about sex and everything it entails,
happens far too often.
A few months ago, I was taking my 13 year old, my 3 year
old, and my 12 year old nephew to get a snack from the gas station. I asked my
daughter to buckle my 3 year old in. She said, “The seat belt is too tight,
it’s going to hurt his penis.” My nephew gasped loudly and looked at me, “She
said penis.” I replied, “Yes. That’s what it’s called.” A little taken aback by
his response, I asked him if he took sex ed. He looked at me and said, “You
mean health? Yeah, I take health at my school.” Yikes. He attends the same
school as my daughter and a few months ago, I asked her what they taught in her
school about sex and she told me that she could catch a disease from holding
someone’s hand. This is not good. I thought I had given her more information
than that. She’s going to learn from her teachers as well as from me, however I
feel it is my responsibility to set the record straight, which I did. But I
wondered… Why do we approach the topic of sex under the guise of health? In my
opinion, Health and Sex Education are two completely different topics of study.
So I Googled health. A bunch of sites and images relating to
fitness, nutrition, and disease, popped up. I Googled sex education and
articles about sex relating to teens and young adults popped up. What does that
tell me? Sex education is primarily taught at a middle school, high school level,
when children are beginning or in the stages of puberty, and we should be
teaching Sex Education as a course independent from health. Although they
certainly overlap in terms of content, they are fundamentally different ideas
in our society.
Comprehensive Sex Education covers a wide range of topics
relating to sexuality from identity and gender roles to reproduction, sexual
orientation and masturbation. It seems to me that comprehensive sex education
provides students with relevant information concerning sexual identity, gender
identity, contraception options and more. Abstinence-only programs leave out
valuable, necessary information concerning sex and approach sex in a negative
way, by focusing on the risks of unsafe sex and teaching that sex should happen
only when in a heterosexual, monogamous relationship and in the confines of
marriage.
So why is health the broad term under which students learn
about their sexuality? Is this because society is still uncomfortable with sex?
Are educator’s uncomfortable teaching sex? The need for practical, relevant
information regarding sex is desired by teens and young adults, and I would
venture to say, probably most adults in general!
What is the standard in Alaska for sex education? There
isn't one exclusively concerning sex. The standards for Alaska cover health
related topics and can be found at http://education.alaska.gov/standards/pdf/standards.pdf.
So parents, teachers, it’s up to us. Our children will learn about sex from
someone or something. Let’s talk about it!
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