When
a partner cheats it often means the end of a relationship, but if a couple
decides to stay together they will need to work together to rebuild their
connection and sexual intimacy. Brandon Grittini reports that “82% of marriages
affected by an affair actually have happier couples after the affair,” because
the affair reveals problems in the relationship that the couple then can work
on. Recovery from an affair and becoming sexual again will take time and it is
important that both partners understand that it may take a while before they
are ready to be intimate with each other, but if sexual intimacy can not be
regain it may kill the relationship. Dr. Tammy Nelson suggests that healing
from an affair should allow couples to become erotically and intimately
connected again. She stresses that the victim of the affair should not feel
pressured to engage in sex again right away or try to use sex to hold on to
their partner. She encourages couples to be open and communicate their feelings
and to talk about ways that each partner is ready to be physical again, such as
hugging, kissing and cuddling, which taken as a slow process will help the
couple to build back up to sexual intimacy. “Working together to make sex feel
positive and sensual will create [their] erotic recovery, and a new, more
intimate relationship with one another will follow.”
Denise
Charles also offers some tips to help a relationship recover from an affair if a
couple chooses to stay together. She advises the victim of an affair to admit
their pain to their partner if they plan to “experience great sex again without
feeling victimized.” To get pass an affair, a person should not blame herself
or himself for the affair or focus on thoughts of their partner with another.
One should not compare oneself to their partner’s lover, but instead should
focus on their relationship now and how to improve their love life with their
partner. Both partners must accept that the relationship has changed and accept
that the affair is in the past and can’t be changed, and must agree to
cooperate and agree to be open and honest in the future. Forgiveness and
healing are necessary for a relationship to thrive after infidelity and can
lead to greater communication and intimacy, which will allow for greater sexual
passion and physical intimacy after the affair. Grittini encourages couples to
work on being good friends and rebuilding trust before they enjoy sexual love
again. He also advises couples to not focus on orgasms when they become sexual
again after an affair, but to instead focus on mutual pleasure and their
connection. “The essence of sex after infidelity is to re-create the trust [a
partner] once had, and learn to be more open about [their] feelings.”
Charles, Denise- http://www.hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=1227
Grittini, Brandon- http://www.absexuality.com/marriage-articles/secret-affairs-sex-after-infidelity-590134.html
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.